It’s lovely when people buy your book, and then send you a picture to prove it.
I calculated the other day, that for every two books I sell, I can buy a cup of coffee in my local café in Paris. So I would like to petition this thought; coffee is probably the most significant and useful legal drug there is – I am dysfunctional without it. Given the world’s complete dependency on it, I’m astonished it doesn’t have the same legal status as water, which was made a ‘human right’ by the UN in 2010.
If my personal human rights now depend not on what Ban Ki-moon once muttered, but is in fact dependent entirely upon my step-brother buying a copy of my book (out of sheer politeness I might add) then something has gone seriously bloody wrong with the world.
I had intended to solve poverty on Monday morning, but sadly I now have to work eighteen hours a minute to sell two books to buy my own coffee – so I am afraid millions will have to die. ‘World Peace’ on Tuesday, but that’s on hold now too.
Don’t blame me, I don’t make the rules.
Lovely bit of parquet though.