I woke this morning with the kind of hangover that registered slightly higher on the richter scale, than the latest California earthquake. I’ve seen the pictures on the BBC news website, fallen buildings and dust filled skies – slightly post-apocalyptic. Pah, nothing like being inside my head.
What is it with Americans? Everything has to be bigger and better. Ooooh look at our earthquake, somewhat more impressive than Dominic’s hangover. Well, is it? Really? And how do you know? Are you inside my head right now, do you have the inside track? And my kidneys – have you passed through them recently? No you haven’t. And yet, simply because you are American, you are front and centre (as you like to say and I don’t know why) of all the major new channels.
It’s 10:59 on Saturday morning and my head hurts. It’s taken me six minutes to write these words. And they’re not very good. I’m blaming San Andreas. It’s his fault! Haha, brilliant, haha. Oh dear.