I know I should write something, but my head is empty and I just can’t. It’s not writer’s block, my head is literally empty. I can’t find my brain. I took it out to rest it and I can’t find it. My brain has been super busy recently and I thought it deserved a day off. So we had a chat this morning and my brain said, sure, I’m tired, but I’m here for you if you need me obvs, you can count on me. But if you are happy, then a day on the sofa watching TV would be bloody perfect. I’m really tired.
I see myself as a leader of men, a person with supreme, almost existential management skills. I looked at my brain and I knew it needed some R&R. And what do great leaders do? They look after the humble foot soldier.
So I popped him out, plumped a few cushions and plopped him on the sofa and headed to the kitchen to pop the kettle on. I’ve been here for eight and a half hours. I have no idea why I’m standing in front of the sink with a steel container in my hand. My arm aches. I’m thirsty. My head is empty.
Please, if you read this, call the emergency services and send help. I’m in a kitchen, that’s all I know.